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For the primary month of his faculty life Farnie behaved, besides in his choice of companions, very like an bizarre junior. At first the opposite juniors of the House were inclined to resent this extending of the proper hand of fellowship to house owners of studies and Second Eleven males, and attempted to make Farnie see the sin and folly of his ways. And here's a second one, greater nonetheless, with 4 courtyards, a park past the river, a cathedral of its own, a nonetheless larger Gothic dining-hall, rafters 5 hundred years old, a gallery of previous portraits, still older traditions and nonetheless extra famous students’ college with three names. They counted some twenty crowned heads, "young, outdated, and mouse-coloured," said our good friend, as he retired from the window and attacked the coffee and cake. I do not suppose he will. Then there may be a third one which is the oldest, a fourth one distinguished for scholarship, a fifth for athletic records, a sixth because it has the best chapel, a seventh for I do know not what, and as there are at least fifteen of them, I've blended all of them up; I see only the castellated palaces in Perpendicular style, the huge quadrangles, the place the pupils transfer about in black gowns and square tasselled caps, every of whom has his two or three rooms within the wings of these castles; I see the Gothic chapels disembowelled by Protestantism, the banquet-halls with a dais for the "masters" and "fellows," the venerable smoked portraits of earls, statesmen and poets, who went forth from there; I see the renowned "backs," i.e. the rear of the schools above the river Cam, over which there are bridges resulting in the historical school parks; I float on the gentle river between the "backs" and the parks, and that i consider our students, of their hollow bellies and their boots down-at-heel with trudging from lecture to lecture.

Monk's eye gleamed approval, and he stretched forth an itching palm. As for providing sympathy to widows and orphans--nicely, these were foreigners largely, who could not understand what was stated to them, and who might be extra embarrassed than helped by the intrusion into their grief of individuals from an alien world. The enterprise of providing sympathy had been decreased to a system by the civilisation which these ladies helped to maintain; and, as it happened, there was one current who was accustomed to this system. He regarded a bad lot, and he was one. No. He's only obtained two sides, a nasty facet and a worse side, which he sticks on on the strength of being pretty good at video games. You bought rather left there, outdated chap,' said Monk at size. I say, old chap, do not walk so fast.' Farnie, rightly concluding that the comment was addressed to him, turned and waited, and the three strolled over to the varsity buildings collectively.

It was perhaps only natural that Farnie, having been warned so strongly of the inadvisability of getting something to do with Monk, ought to for that very cause be attracted to him. Farnie, wanting up from his heap of gold. So I did,' said the Bishop wearily; 'however I can not at all times be looking after the little brute. I bow right down to you, O Cambridge, for upon me was conferred the honour of consuming on the dais among the many discovered masters in a corridor so huge and old that I felt as if I were solely dreaming about it; I greet you with each fingers, O Cambridge, for I used to be vouchsafed the joy of eating with college students, masters and different young folks from earthenware dishes within the Half Moon; and blissful I was among them. Having two idle hours on my palms, I went into a billiard room formerly on the southwest corner of Broadway and Fiftieth Street, New York, the place I performed billiards with an old man of seventy-six. I can't praise Oxford after having praised Cambridge; and my pleasant reference to Cambridge makes it incumbent upon me to shower hearth and brimstone upon haughty Oxford.

What evil am I to say now about Oxford? I mentioned the matter with my pal James Hale, who is now an vital government in a radio company. Now he haunts my goals. He sat musing for some time, however when any person prompt "billiards," he turned alert as usual. If you don't need to speak yourself you could be as dumb as a drum with a gap in it, as Sam Weller says, and you could go farther, and forbid anybody to speak to you; however to stamp and swear because someone within listening to distance of you chooses to talk to a friend is ridiculous and foolish, partly because it is contemptible, and partly because, as you are not ready to stop all dialog on the links, you should grin and bear it. A funeral isn't an exciting or particularly pleasant occupation, but there are a lot of funerals where a dead silence is no more cultivated than at some golf matches; and it is silly and useless to fly into a passion because somebody thirty or forty yards off who is just not taking part in golf at all, or at any fee has nothing to do with you, talks or laughs in order that you will need to hear him.

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